Kelly Berry: Six Big Lessons We've Taken from Our Podcast Guests

Full Episode Page: Kelly Berry: Six Big Lessons from Our Podcast Guests
Episode Summary: Nick and Kelly Berry each bring three big lessons they've taken from their podcast guests.
The 6 Takeways are:
- Even accomplished individuals can struggle with imposter syndrome (The Power of Inner Work & Breaking Free from Societal Norms with Dr. Margie Serrato)
- Creating an ideal day and realizing that she is not far from achieving it (How Entrepreneurs Can Rediscover Their Purpose and Drive with Sailynn Doyle)
- Overcoming a scarcity mindset and embracing an abundance mindset (Corporate to Consultant: Lisa Rigoli on Authentic Leadership and Building Trust)
- Dr. Haley Perlus: how to use images, videos, and songs as reset tools (Dr. Haley Perlus: Mental Toughness as a Business Owner)
- Brett Bartholomew breaking social agility into three components: reading the room, communication styles, and power dynamics (Brett Bartholomew: The Power of Effective Communication and Self-Awareness)
- Scott Fay distinguishing between problems and situations helps to focus on what can be solved  

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Transcript

Nick (00:00)
So this episode is gonna be a little bit different, but before I get into that, I have a couple of things to share. First of all, if you have not seen the Matt Goebel episode that I released earlier this week, I highly, highly, highly recommend it. Matt is a fantastic guest. He's just a really good entrepreneur. He speaks to the journey and the lessons and the thought processes behind.

like everything that he shared. It is as informative of an episode for a business owner, for a founder as any that I've done. So check that out if you get a chance. It is fantastic. Second of all, I have some episodes coming out where we're gonna be like

during the interview, some brand messaging and positioning with me getting to be the guinea pig, like I did with Roland Gurney in an episode earlier. I really like doing that. It lets my guests put their skills on display. And I don't mind being the guinea pig.

Third thing, thank you very much for the support. Thank you for the reviews. Thank you for subscribing. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for the feedback. If you find value in the episodes, please, I ask that you continue to do those things. If you have feedback on an episode, if you really like the particular guest or a topic or a format, if you like the workshop format, send me a message and let me know.

You can email me, nick at nickberry .info. You can message me on LinkedIn. You can send me a message on Instagram. Occasionally, I check those or you can just post it in the comments. But the more that I hear from you, the clearer I get on what to produce that's a value for you. So now for this episode. This one's different. So my wife, Kelly, has a podcast, which you may or may not know. It's called Life Intended.

And her focus is on getting really clear on what your purpose is and then how do you work on becoming the best version of yourself? So she has guests on, she interviews them. She's a fantastic interview. But they discuss topics like rediscovering your purpose coming out of burnout or avoiding burnout, changing your internal, your self -talk. There was an episode this week about

instilling a growth mindset in your children. Last month, she did an episode where she talked through going through the first year after we lost her best friend to brain cancer. And that was really powerful. But it's all, you know, all of the angles, all the things that you deal with in life. And I would describe it as like what the business owner's journey is for business. Her podcast, Life Intended, is for life.

long ago, she interviewed me about my approach to leadership and personal growth and it was received really well and it was just, it was a lot of fun. So we decided to do another episode together. And this one is a little bit different where we just sit, we were having a conversation. said, okay, let's go and let's each bring our top three lessons that we've learned from our guests on our podcast so far. So that's what we did.

And I think it went fantastic. She's just so good at this kind of thing. She's so much better than I am. But I think we both brought our list of three and then we had a couple of bonus and we got to discuss each of them, go back and forth a little bit. yeah, was just, it was great to be able to go back and kind of like retouch on some of the most powerful elements from these different guests and episodes. And it was a lot of fun. So I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.



 
Okay, so the question what are like three things that you've learned or like three most interesting things from the podcast episodes that we've each done so far? So Kelly, you want to go first? Just one.

Kelly Berry  
Just one. Okay. So the first one is the episode I did with Dr. Margie Serato after I introduced her, you know, she's a doctor, she's got a PhD, you know, she, she just kind of went on like, it's hard sitting here listening to somebody talk about me and realize that they're talking about me, that those are the things I've done. Those are my accomplishments. And so, you know, as somebody who,

Throughout my life and career, I've had imposter syndrome or just felt like the way that I see myself is very different from the way that other people see me. And to know that this woman who's so accomplished and a doctor feels the same way, it was just kind of enlightening to me that she to recognize that and talk about it a little bit. And so, you know, a coach that I've worked with in the past has

asked me, you know, when I've had these issues or like thoughts about myself to think about like how does somebody else see me if I have the situation where I'm in a room and I'm you know like I this is what happened and I feel really like I don't know like I didn't live up to the expectation he's like would anybody else in the room right now say that about you and so I think it's just important for us sometimes to stop when we have that imposter syndrome or we're just feeling like

We're not meeting the expectations that we set for ourselves to think about how does somebody else see us

Nick  
So who was she saying this about? Who was she

Kelly Berry  
herself, like after I read her

Yeah, she was just saying she was having a kind of a hard time realizing that the person I was introducing on the podcast was

Nick  
so she was like in the moment, like real time having some imposter syndrome on your podcast. okay. Now I'm following

Kelly Berry  
Yes, yeah, yeah, so, yeah, so that was what's interesting to me, that anybody anytime,

Nick ( 
And... Yeah, really.

Yeah, everybody at some time. so mine, my first one, it was probably Haley Perlis. I just thought that her, so I'm familiar with a lot of the things that she brought, but she simplifies things so well.

Kelly Berry (02:15)
Yeah, for

Nick (02:35)
And I really, really like the exercise that she said, like the little reset tools where she said, have an image, I have a video, and I have a song.

that all like if i need to do a little reset to get myself back on track so my day goes away that i wanted to then i can go on colin one of these three things and then she explain like with the way that you determine what those things should be for you is go start with your three strengths which week we'd she'd already talked about like how to use those for yourself then pick three things that characterize you at your best that's where she got her image

her video and her then, yeah, then you just come up with those simple tools like the image, the video, or the song that you can use. And sometimes you can pull those up on your phone or whatever. Or sometimes, like, you just go with in your mind, right? But regardless, it's having something like a quick and simple cue that you can use.

So you have an opportunity to do a reset and get things back on track if you don't feel the way that you would like to feel or you feel like your mind's going in a direction that it doesn't need to go. I thought that was really cool. Okay, what's

Kelly Berry (03:57)
Yeah. Me too. And I picked a theme song based on,

Nick (04:01)
Did you?

Well, I'm working on it still. like the I'm doing the three strengths. I've got the problem solver, a listener and then humor and like the imagery for each. don't I'm not getting anywhere with a with a song, but the images for the purposes of the exercise, like an image works just fine for me. but I can use music for like other things.

Kelly Berry (04:24)
Mm

Yeah, yep, I like that too. Okay, my next one was in my episode with Segeland Doyle talking about business owners. And part of her exercise when she works with a new client is to have them figure out what does their ideal day look like. And so she's like, it's not your birthday, it's not a day on vacation, it's like if every day were Groundhog Day for you, what would this look

Nick (04:31)
Okay, what's your next one?

Kelly Berry (04:54)
And she's gotten to the point where she's only working maybe three to four hours a day. So her day, she's got this down. But you can do it no matter what your day currently looks like, you want it to look like. So anyway, it was an exercise that I kind of went through and was like, what would I want ideal day to look like? And I realized, know,

75 % of what this I want this like Groundhog Day ideal day to look like I could do right now I'm just not doing it not doing the things that would Make it be my ideal day So that was kind of eye -opening to me and trying to figure out this is what I want and I can go ahead and do it like why am I not doing the things To do that. So it's kind of been like some self I think

A lot of people are probably in that same boat where you're not actually that far from your ideal day, especially the things that you have control over. And so what are the reasons that we're just not doing it? So yeah, that's kind of been a

Nick (06:00)
Yeah, so that's just hearing you say that there's one of those that I'm like, I'm when I listen to that, I'm going to be like, damn it. But, you know, in a good way, right? Like that's because I probably 75 percent I wouldn't have guessed 75 percent. But now that you say it, I wouldn't argue against it. Like it makes sense. We probably are that close. You know, I probably am, too.

Kelly Berry (06:06)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Yeah. So.

Nick (06:26)
Add that to the list.

Kelly Berry (06:26)
There's that. Yeah, really. Now I just gotta do the things I know how to do to make it be what I want it to be, all it takes.

Nick (06:34)
That's all it takes. Okay, so the next one for me was I just thought Brett Bartholomew breaking down social agility into the three pieces was so you know the things that he talked about I'm again familiar with but just the way that he talked about them really helped. So breaking social agility out into

can you read the room? So it's like, as the Romans do, speak as the Romans speak, move as the Romans move. So, do and as the Romans do, like reading the room. I think he called it contextual competence. And then the second piece was the communication styles, like speak as the Romans speak. And you you and I talk about that a lot. I think the one that was,

I feel furthest behind in would be the third one, the power dynamic, the like move is the Romans move. And it's really recognizing like where the influence is in whatever in the setting, like who has not who has the influence isn't just like

who's the loudest or who's the boss. It's a blend of all these things, right? It's kind of who has the respect. I can't remember the exact example that he used, but it's like, it doesn't matter. It could be the person that's the furthest down on the org chart. If everybody in the company respects them, like when that person is trying to gain influence, they'll get it.

Kelly Berry (08:01)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Nick (08:19)
And just being aware of that, I think is really helpful. It has been helpful for me.

Kelly Berry (08:26)
Yeah, to me, hearing you talk about it that way sounds like the leadership opportunities and intentions exercise. Like, when you go into those situations, knowing how you want to show up in the room, like, you're probably more likely to have that than if you just leave it to chance. Yeah. Yeah.

Nick (08:43)
Yep, that's a great connection. Yeah, and it's like, know, then that exercise probably helps to you to be aware, like look beyond the obvious as to where influence may come from in a setting. Yeah, that's a good point. There you go. Okay, what's next for you?

Kelly Berry (08:58)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Yep. Yeah. There you go. Number three was in my episode with Lisa Rogoli. You know, we kind of went on a tangent in that conversation and just talked about, you know, how you can start your own business and get

you know, where you want to be and what it takes to do that. And during that conversation, we got into talking about having a scarcity mindset and how that is so detrimental when you're trying to start your own business or even grow your business. Because when you start saying yes to everything, because you think those yeses are going to become more more scarce or the

true clients that you want are so scarce that you have to say yes to work that isn't in alignment that you know one day you can look up and that might be 30 days after you start or it might be a year or two years and you are so far away from what you wanted what you set out to do because you are operating from this scarcity mindset or you know you and i have talked about like being above the line or below the line thinking about things that you can influence versus

the like things that you think are happening to you. And so I've just been thinking about that a lot as you know scarcity as it relates to time or as it relates to you know what what we want to be doing or where we want business to go and just trying to use that more like abundance mindset like I don't have to say yes to this because it's not really what I want to be doing should be doing need to be doing with my time with my energy

people I'm around. So that's just been another like really good top of mind thing for me at the

Nick (10:51)
That's a powerful revelation to have and a great reminder, right? Like that's a big thing.

Kelly Berry (10:56)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Nick (11:00)
Alright, my third, Scott Fay, think when he was talking about, we were talking about solving problems and he's really the thing that has stuck with me and I've used it a lot since then is the difference in a situation and a

Like if you can't affect it, it can't be solved, then it's not a problem, it's a situation.

And those are things that like don't waste your time trying to solve them if it can't be changed. And definitely you don't need to waste your time and energy bitching about it or complaining about it or whatever else. Like move on down to where like where in this chain of things can I actually have an impact? What can be solved and work there? And it just, you know.

Like everything that we deal with whether it's business life or whatever can be kind of can be as complex as you want to let it let it feel But when you're able to like chunk things down It gets easier and being able to chunk something down to a place where for me it helps a lot when I'm able to say like This isn't a problem. This is a situation. So like that chunk I can know almost disregard entirely right like I'm not I can't change it I can factor it in but I'm not gonna change it. So

Kelly Berry (12:21)
Mm -hmm.

Mm

Nick (12:27)
Here is the part that I can change that I need to like dive in and be a problem solver.

Kelly Berry (12:34)
Yeah, I like that a lot and I know you and I have had a couple of conversations about that same thing but it's a different lens that can be kind of like defeating about all the things, all the situations that you spent your time thinking about or energy on that you know to your point like if you can't, if you truly cannot do anything about it like you

there's gonna have to be some acceptance like this is what it is and that doesn't mean necessarily that you have to live with it but you know you don't have to spend all your energy complaining about it or wishing that it was different or you know any other number of things that people do that just don't matter

Nick (13:18)
Mm -hmm. Yep. The way we spend our time and energy, right?

Kelly Berry (13:22)
Yeah. So in that episode, the thing I wish I could do three about your episodes that I've been thinking about, but the thing that Scott Faye said that had blown my mind and I just keep thinking about is like the 1 % of people who think and I think it was like 2 % of people who think they think or something like that. It's just that has, I don't know. I've spent a lot of time thinking about that.

Nick (13:46)
And so you're in the, wait a minute, are you in the 1 % or the 2 %? But the point of it is you're not in the 97%. And that's what he, what he said next was 97 % of people like refuse to think or something like that. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of terrifying to think that you're like, you're surrounded by.

Kelly Berry (13:50)
I don't know. I don't know. I hope I'm in the 1%.

would rather die than think. Yeah.

Nick (14:10)
97 % of the people that you're surrounded by on this planet are like, want to just be like, right? Yeah. Yeah. But you know, it kind of reinforces the, it's really important that you are curate who you surround yourself with. Because if you just leave it to chance, there's a 97 % chance that you're going to be surrounded by fucking idiots.

Kelly Berry (14:13)
Yeah, I mean that's like one out of, yeah, one out of 100 people. Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah, that is terrifying.

Nick (14:42)
97 I thought it was I knew it was high Yeah

Kelly Berry (14:45)
Yeah, yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, like people who don't have original thought, you know, it's like they're only thinking about things that other people have thought of. They don't have any original thoughts, you know, and it's just, it really makes you like audit. What am I thinking about? What am I, what am I challenging? What am I avoiding? You know? Yeah, that, mind blowing.

Nick (15:05)
Yep.

Yeah, that's a powerful mirror to hold up and look into, right? Because we talk about this stuff a lot, and we talk to a lot of people about this stuff. And I can still sit here and think back to, you know, the last however many days or whatever, how many times have I let my mind go somewhere and spend time and energy on something that I know better than that?

Kelly Berry (15:17)
Wah.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Nick (15:38)
And those are just the times that I've caught it. How many times have I done something that goes against what I'm working towards that I'm, I didn't even realize it. But I mean, that's like, perfection's not the, not really in the cards, right? It's, the goal is improvement.

Kelly Berry (15:59)
Yep.

Nick (15:59)
So I wanted to also mention, I, Roland Gurney's episode, so first of all, I think he, this is bonus one that I brought. So there's not one specific point that he made, I could probably find one if I want just to come up with one. There's not one specific point that he made that I wanted to share like with the rest of these.

I think with Roland, it's like, listen to the whole thing, first of all. Like, everything about his perspective is different from all the other stuff that you find coming from marketers. And I think, like, that's why he's so good at what he does. And I think it's just...

It's really helpful for us to kind of break that mold of all the things that we just see and hear all the time. You know, from marketing, it's know your audience, who's your ideal client, make sure you're speaking to them, create a connection, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Roland comes in and says, well, you've not really given anybody any reason worth choosing you. That's why they're not choosing you.

Kelly Berry (17:13)
Mm -hmm.

Nick (17:13)
And so, what I had been thinking about when I was, before I talked to him, when I talked to him, I was like, I wanna showcase what this guy does. So in the episode, I had him like, just do me, Roland. And I don't remember, this part might have gotten removed. He's like, don't really want, I don't wanna do that. I kinda had to push him. I was like, just do it, it's fine. I don't mind. He's like, okay, let's do it.

So we did it. and, it was, it was good. felt like it was still only the tip of the iceberg as to what he's capable of. And so, but I'm like, I'm leaving thinking I'm onto something here with this. I think we can use this podcast platform to do more than just like have somebody on when they've got a book coming out or something. I think I can have people who, if I say they're different, like, and I mean it and I'm right, like I can show how they're different.

So that's what I've been trying to do. So Roland kind of changed my perspective on how I to use the podcast. So a funny, interesting thing that happened like two weeks maybe after Roland's episode comes out is he has this, puts his post up on LinkedIn and it goes viral. like Roland, doesn't have a, I don't know how much of a following he had before, but his post didn't get much attention before, but he puts his post up and it's just like, Hey,

post your value proposition and I'll redo it for you. And I mean thousand plus.

Comments on that in a day and it like he is on there banging them out and there it's magic Like he is so good at that shit and he's so he was apparently so fast, too So I think that just reinforced to me like the people who are different are gonna get more attention like if they're willing to put it out there and we can use something like a podcast or

Kelly Berry (18:54)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Nick (19:16)
Like he was flexing his muscles like out in public, right in front of everybody on LinkedIn for better or for worse. And that type of authenticity and vulnerability, I think carries a lot of weight. So everybody's worried about like, well, AI this or how do you stand out on social media? Like if you're good at what you do, you can go out there and be your fucking self. And that won't go a long way. Right. I mean,

Kelly Berry (19:38)
Yeah. Yep.

Nick (19:42)
Yeah, I just, I think there's a lot to take away from. think he like totally exemplifies the things that everybody wants to say like, this is what you need to be. And then they turn around and don't do it. And he like is doing it.

Kelly Berry (19:55)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Yeah. You know, what I see is, you know, it's great to see like testimonials or case studies or whatever, but everybody wants to like a little sample of like, what is this actually gonna be like for me to work with you? Like, what's it actually consist of? What is different about you? How do I know that, you know, this is gonna work? And so when you can give somebody like

Nick (20:12)
Mm -hmm.

Kelly Berry (20:23)
real time or like actual snippet of how good somebody is, I think that that is, I mean, it's like the most powerful. It's not just like powerful, it's like, that's incredible. Way better than a testimonial. Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Nick (20:37)
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's a little uncomfortable doing it in a podcast interview, but like, you know, I'm, I'm game.

I did have another episode I've done with Dana Farber where she, we do a workshop. Like she takes me through, it's probably, I don't know, I'm thinking we probably spent 10 minutes of her taking me through an exercise. It may not have been 10, but the point is it's like showing a snippet and it's not just the same old, same old stuff that everybody else runs out there. And it's also real. It's not scripted. Like I think that's pretty powerful. We'll see.

Kelly Berry (21:10)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm

Yeah, yep, I love it.

Nick (21:21)
Awesome. I think this was cool. Thanks for doing it. I appreciate it. I've gotten a ton from your, your guests. Like you, I feel like your, your podcast is done as much for me as mine has. So you're doing a great job.

Kelly Berry (21:23)
Yeah, it was fun.

Well, Yeah, same. Thank you. It's fun and it's hard to pick just three because there's been a lot of great people, a lot of great stuff. So we should do this. We can talk about a lot of things. So yeah, cool. Thank you.

Nick (21:47)
Yeah, yeah, we will. All right, cool, thanks.